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Clever Humor


A sign in a shoe repair store in Vancouver:      

We  will heel you

We will save your sole

We will even dye for you.

A sign over a Gynecologists' office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.";

In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels.";

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for,

you've come to the right place.";

On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed.";

On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.";

At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee:

"Invite us to your next blowout.";

On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts.";

In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are

on fire and will take appropriate action.";

On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push.";

At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet -

miss a car payment.";

Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary.

We hear you coming.";

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!";

At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.

However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.";

In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.";

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait.";

At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank Heaven for little grills.";

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak.";

And the best one for last;

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

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