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Lexophilia

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Lexophilia    is a word  used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a  piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is  pointless." 

A competition to see who can come up  with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed  location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very  end.

.. When fish are in schools, they  sometimes take debate.
.. A thief who stole a calendar got  twelve months.
.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles  U.C.L.A.

.. The batteries were given out free of  charge.
.. A dentist and a manicurist married.  They fought tooth and nail.
.. A will is a dead  giveaway.
.. With her marriage, she got a new  name and a dress.
.. A boiled egg is hard to  beat.
.. When you've seen one shopping center  you've seen a mall.
.. Police were summoned to a daycare  center where a three-year-old was resisting a  rest.
.. Did you hear about the fellow whose  entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's  just two tired.
.. When a clock is hungry it goes back  four seconds.
.. The guy who fell onto an upholstery  machine is now fully recovered.
.. He had a photographic memory which  was never developed.
.. When she saw her first strands of  grey hair she thought she'd dye.
.. Acupuncture is a jab well done.  That's the point of it.
And the cream of the twisted  crop:
.. Those who get too big for their  pants will be totally exposed in the end.

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